Ahhhh, the royal wedding. Romance fills the air as England prepares for the wedding of the year.
The excitable hum of anticipation is obvious whenever in public. Tv documentaries are filling the screen, a film has been made, florists from around the world are voicing their opinions on tv interviews, as are cake makers, tailors, wedding planners…..
Seriously, I couldn’t give a tiny rats ass!
Do you know what the best thing about this over-publicised wedding is for me?
An extra fricking bank holiday! Hell yeah, baby!
Do I care what flowers Kate and William have chosen for decoration – errr, nope!
Do I give a shit about what the reception tables will look like – Hmmmm. Let’s see, errrrm, NOPE!
And do I REALLY want to watch a film about how they met?! DO I F”*k!
Don’t get me wrong, I realise I am being a tad grumpy today, and that actually, yeah, this is an important historical event; and I am oooooh so VERY grateful for the additional day in bed, not to mention the extended opening hours of the pubs. But really, what difference is this actually going to make to our day-to-day lives?
I’ll tell you: none.
And anyway, how in Gods name did William even bag a looker like her?! I mean, have you SEEN him? He very sadly got the very strong Y chromosome the day he began to form. He’s as pretty as his daddy!
And don’t even get me started on the bloody ‘royal dolls’ and other bullshit paraphernalia… I mean, really?!
“Oooh, I absolutely HAVE to have one of those weird dolls for my bedroom shelf…and, oh gosh! Look at that lovely paper plate!” AAAARGH!
So anyway, tomorrow I will be doing pretty much nothing, but that includes NOT tuning in to watch Kate as she glides down the aisle to her Prince Charming (aha! See what I did there!!!!).
Actually, sod it, perhaps i’ll have a scone in their honour – very British 😉